I want to talk to you today about how awesome you are. Are you a mom? Are you expecting? Are you a dad or another caregiver perhaps? Sometimes its difficult for us to take a compliment -- for us to RECEIVE a compliment. I’ve been working with a wonderful woman named Star Staubach who has really helped me to hone this skill of receiving. I have posted a link to her below. It makes a huge difference in your day to focus on the positive. So when someone gives you a compliment or you can toot your own horn about something that your kids are doing take the opportunity! It increases that positive feeling, and that’s a good thing.
So, let’s all try to be more positive about being a mother, and about caring for others. In my work as a postpartum doula, I could go into work feeling, “Oh, today I might have to change poopy diapers", or, "I might have to listen to a mom who is upset about something”, but honestly, it’s my greatest pleasure to serve the clients that I work with - to really care for people. It is true that mothering is not always easy, and doing chores like changing diapers and taking care of a sad, sick, or not-feeling-good baby makes it seem as if those jobs never end. In my own home laundry never ends, and giving someone snacks or preparing food for my family of six never ends. It can feel a little overwhelming at times. So, I’m going to ask that when you feel overwhelmed, think about how you would want someone to care for you. Try to change your mindset and take a deep breath. Smile, and give that loving kindness and that attention to detail to the babies that you’re caring for, to the children that you're caring for, and see if it makes a difference in your day.
Thanks so much for being here. I appreciate you taking the time to watch this, and I hope you have a wonderful day!
Who ever is your partner in life - please remember to appreciate what they do.
Fathers have the tough job of supporting new mothers in a time when our hormones do the most major shift they will ever do. Pregnant women have very high levels of hormones and after the baby is delivered hormones plummet. Throw in a little sleep deprivation and voila! You have a recipe for a very moody mommy!
Mothers oftentimes are the primary caregivers. It is hard to put into words the awesome task of caring for a baby 24/7. Our society often expects moms to be experts right from the start and that puts a lot of pressure on us! When you have that pressure it is easy to feel isolated. To feel like no one understands or appreciates what you are going through.
Here are a few tips I have found very useful...
#1 In our house, we have a rule that the first six weeks after a baby is born if someone snaps or an argument occurs we brush it off. We acknowledge the feeling, "I did not really mean to get so upset about (insert silly reason here that seemed REALLY important at the time)."
#2 Another great piece to remember is that you are on the same team! No one said parenting would be easy and it starts off with a bang. Most families are unprepared for how difficult it actually is to have a newborn. No book can really prepare you for being awake for 4 hours trying to soothe a crying baby. Being on the same team means that you work together and try not to keep score.
#3 Use your manners. Say please. Say thank you. Say you are welcome. Mean what you say! My husband is my water boy. I somehow manage to forget every time I nurse a baby that I will feel thirsty. Although he jokes he still gets me the water. He is an amazing man.
#4 Love each other. Kiss for 10 seconds at least once every day. Snuggle on the couch, with or without baby. Keep touching and keep close to each other. This does not have to mean sex. But let's face it ladies our husbands need to have sex. Don't be afraid to have a quickie. Our relationships are what will keep us going in the long run. Be good to the relationship and remember it is your number one priority. Kids will come and grow but your mate is your constant.
#5 No one is perfect and no one knows everything. And that is okay!
I would love comments about other tips you have found helpful.
Jill Reiter CPD, Author
A mother, wife and Postpartum Doula's blog.
The After Baby Lady
Shelby Township MIPhone: 586-604-1446