Who ever is your partner in life - please remember to appreciate what they do.
Fathers have the tough job of supporting new mothers in a time when our hormones do the most major shift they will ever do. Pregnant women have very high levels of hormones and after the baby is delivered hormones plummet. Throw in a little sleep deprivation and voila! You have a recipe for a very moody mommy!
Mothers oftentimes are the primary caregivers. It is hard to put into words the awesome task of caring for a baby 24/7. Our society often expects moms to be experts right from the start and that puts a lot of pressure on us! When you have that pressure it is easy to feel isolated. To feel like no one understands or appreciates what you are going through.
Here are a few tips I have found very useful...
#1 In our house, we have a rule that the first six weeks after a baby is born if someone snaps or an argument occurs we brush it off. We acknowledge the feeling, "I did not really mean to get so upset about (insert silly reason here that seemed REALLY important at the time)."
#2 Another great piece to remember is that you are on the same team! No one said parenting would be easy and it starts off with a bang. Most families are unprepared for how difficult it actually is to have a newborn. No book can really prepare you for being awake for 4 hours trying to soothe a crying baby. Being on the same team means that you work together and try not to keep score.
#3 Use your manners. Say please. Say thank you. Say you are welcome. Mean what you say! My husband is my water boy. I somehow manage to forget every time I nurse a baby that I will feel thirsty. Although he jokes he still gets me the water. He is an amazing man.
#4 Love each other. Kiss for 10 seconds at least once every day. Snuggle on the couch, with or without baby. Keep touching and keep close to each other. This does not have to mean sex. But let's face it ladies our husbands need to have sex. Don't be afraid to have a quickie. Our relationships are what will keep us going in the long run. Be good to the relationship and remember it is your number one priority. Kids will come and grow but your mate is your constant.
#5 No one is perfect and no one knows everything. And that is okay!
I would love comments about other tips you have found helpful.
Jill Reiter CPD, Author
A mother, wife and Postpartum Doula's blog.
The After Baby Lady
Shelby Township MIPhone: 586-604-1446